Fussy is the new black.

I have come to the conclusion that Iris is going through A Thing. I realized that I've been rationalizing her recent fussiness with vaccinations and teething, but what's really happening is that thing that babies do right before they process a growth spurt. Which I guess is also one of the things I use to rationalize fussiness, but I think I'm right here.

Have I mentioned the crunches here before? I know I've told the story in person a million times to various folks, but just to be sure I'll recap quickly: every time Iris is laying on her back, she curls up and picks her feet up and sits in this perfect death-to-abs-style crunch. It is like her big red flag that says "hey I'm about to figure something out soon." Last time it happened she started grunting and talking and trying to intone like an actual conversation was happening, when she had been the silent inquisitive baby the day before. It is her standard position now, but every time something like the big chattiness burst happens, the crunches really ramp up and become somewhat of a hindrance. They are worse when she's tired, or overly hungry and speaking of overly hungry, did anyone else know that babies go on hunger strikes because the world is just too interesting?

(awesome aside time: Kyle just mentioned that Iris has been watching a lot of the 30 Day Shred, so that might explain her drive to crunch it up.)

Anyway - what's happening is that Iris is usually a bit hungrier than she should be*, and it's harder for her to sleep because of that and the crunches, and everything being so mind bogglingly interesting. I have seen her go from dead asleep to cinching up like a fish out of water for no identifiable reason at all. Which is neat because it's always followed by her turning to glare at me for obviously forcing her to do that sit-up just then. Gah. It will pass soon though, and then I'll be able to tell you that Iris is not only three feet taller than me, but she speaks German and just wrote an ode to rice cereal in iambic pentameter.

*Trust me. She eats. She just doesn't do it in a timely fashion, and then she's super death hungry and consumes like half a day's feedings in an hour.

In which Iris divulges the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything...

...and then she whipped out her towel to chew on it for a bit, and really delve into the core of the issue, pontificating, some might even say masticating at length on what the answer could be. That is, until she fell over, found a fresh diaper and headed off for her nap.

And when I say nap, I do mean in her crib. Her crib that is in her room. Someone get me a stretcher because that fact continues to knock me out cold every time I think of it. Iris in her crib? does...not...compute...? crazy.

I'm gonna wrap this up here because I really don't have much else for you, but I wanted to assure you that she finally stopped being so sad sometime around bedtime yesterday, and now this miracle crib sleeping thing is happening.

It's not you, it's me.

*This post was saved from late yesterday. The internet is still being fickle and it decided that this is the number of photos I get to post, and that's final. Fine then. I still can't tell if it's my connection or Blogger or what. So just replace every instance of "today" with "yesterday" and it will remain a fairly accurate post.*

Oh Friends, Iris Luella had a sad day today. She really wanted to be cheerful; she certainly wanted to be distracted as much as possible. To put it mildly, she is very uncomfortable right now. Her shot yesterday left her today with a very mild fever and no appetite. Plus, her gums seem to hurt her so badly that she is almost frantic in her attempts to keep her hand or just something in her mouth at all times. She slept on and off all day, mostly alternating one hour asleep to an hour an a half awake since 7:30 this morning.

We were going to take her to a local baseball game, then to see her friend Gus's Dad play some tunes at Cooper's Landing. Once we realized that following those original plans would result in a well-cooked baby and very little time at home, we revised a bit. I sorted through all of the baby clothes in our house (it's ridiculous), and Iris napped at will. I managed to sort of document the most convivial moments of her day. Mind you, there wasn't much good humor available to Iris today, so you'll have to be impressed that she is not actively scowling in the following pictures.

The rest of the photos did actually make it to Picasa, so that's nice. Iris is still on some sort of hunger/happiness strike. It's pitiful. There is a massive storm going on outside, so we couldn't take her anywhere even if she was being cooperative. Sadness all around. Boo. I feel like there were other things I wanted to tell you, but the encompassing sound of baby misery has overthrown my thought process to the point of complete distraction. It is remarkable how pervasive that sound is. Must be some sort of biological caveman thing. I'm off.

this is tricky

Hey guys! Our internet connection is being wonky so I am actually posting this from my phone. Bet you thought I wouldn't squeeze in an update today! I'm very resourceful.

I have a real post all typed up and ready to go, so hopefully that happens tomorrow. I think some photos might have managed to load to picasa before the signal crapped out,so check there if you're so inclined.

Hopefully more soon...

The Future

Well, the great beast that is the pediarix vaccine 2.0 has knocked Iris out again. She fell immediately to sleep at 3:20 when the shot was administered, and as far as I know, is still passed out. So guess what happens tomorrow then? That's right, it's Franzia time. Maybe it won't be, you never can tell with these things. Maybe her age difference between then and now will allow for her to bounce back a little better from this round. But it could happen. So I'm prepared if it does, you understand. Anyway.

Being that the child is asleep, pictures are obviously a no-go at this point, but I'll entertain you with statistics. Sometime I'll have to figure out how to get a little illustrated growth chart up here, but for now, I give you bullets:

• Length: 25.5 inches (82.14 %tile)
• Head Circumference: 16.5 inches (67.1%tile)
• Weight: 16lbs. 2oz. (87.03%tile)

I don't know about you, but I think it is one of the coolest things ever that she's so big. It means she interacts like a little bit older baby and does a bunch of fun stuff like squeal and giggle, and...lick her shirt. It's awesome. Plus everybody knows chubby babies are way more fun to chew on. So bring on the big sleep, big baby! Dom knows what's up.

foooood.

Against common practice and in fact, direct doctor's orders, we decided to go ahead and give Iris some "real" food prior to the six month mark. We're rebels in that way. Renegade baby cereal slingers, if you will. She'd been fascinated with watching us eat for weeks, mimicking chewing anytime she saw it. She's been teething for probably almost three months now and there are still no signs of actual teeth, just a really slobbery baby who wants a bite of your pizza.

We figured not much of the stuff would actually get down her throat anyway - it's more of training session, I guess. So for the last week or so she's been happily accepting little bites of cereal, then gleefully opening her mouth and leaning forward so that it drools out in neat little patterns. I can only assume the visual effect is what she was going for. Anyway, yesterday, it finally clicked for her. Each time I brought the spoon to the bowl, she immediately stopped work on all swallowing or chewing (and I do use that word in its loosest sense), to open her mouth for the next bite. I feel a small sense of accomplishment that the bouncy/arms flapping dance she did each time the next bite came around was probably something she learned by watching me. Behold:

Mmmm. Gruel.

A Challenge

Hi! It's good to see you! I was totally going to write you like a billion posts, but then the baby switched bedtimes again, and the cat is still trying to poop on her, and we went out of town like three weekends in a row or something, and then we forgot to pay the gravity bill, but you understand I really tried.

Some items for consideration:

1. Speaking of going out of town, last weekend we went to Kansas City, MO (ok, let's be proper here, we went to Liberty, MO, the home of William Jewell College, and some damn fine cake cookies). Iris got to meet her Dad's side of the family for the very first time, and we totally forgot the camera - omg don't shoot! But! It's okay! Grandma Kelley was on it. Crisis averted. (p.s. Grandma Kelley, wanna throw me some pictures? Thanks!)


2. Funny thing about forgetting the camera is that it was out of batteries anyway, so a fat lot of good it would have done us to bring it. You could say it's the thought that counts, but in this situation, no, not really, it's the taking pictures that counts. What say you look at this to distract yourself? *A Warning: Only click on this link if you are in no way offended by bad words, rude language, and chickens. This link is WILDLY inappropriate for viewing at work or anywhere else you want to maintain the respect of your peers - seriously.* See? I knew you were going to click on it, even though I totally warned you that it would offend! But you're not angry at me for forgetting the camera anymore are you? You're angry because I made you read the f-word like seventy bajillion times. You're welcome.


3. I was reminded last weekend by certain Fans of The Whiz who shall remain unnamed (most of their names start with "Kell" and end with "ey." Rhymes with Jelly. ahem.) that this blog is something that they check every day, waiting for new updates and photos and the like. I realize I have been an infrequent blogger at best, so I propose A Challenge: I will publish a post every day for the next month, perhaps even including photos and everything, but I do ask something in return. I would like to know who reads this thing. Who are ya? There are seven people who "follow" this blog (by actually having clicked on the "follow this blog" button over there on the side), and commenting has dwindled to just the Grandmas (not that I don't love seeing your comments! I need your comments. They make me feel like I'm a good writer and smart and pretty).


4. To sum up: I challenge me to post every day, and I challenge you to leave a comment so that I know who you are. If you'd like, you can even ask a question you'd like to see answered here. A good example: "How did you get your hair to be so shiny?" or "What do you think about koala bears?" (answers: Pert Plus; and they're cute, sorta shifty, but not bears.)
   

Edited to add: Just to be sure, I commented on this post anonymously to make sure that you don't have to sign up for anything to do so, and you don't (that's the deleted comment you see). So. No excuses people.