With the Quickness

Real quick like, since any position my body can get to that is pro-typing is also pro-"please can I have some more stabby everything pain," I give you a tiny pictorial:

The Yard Sale

We had a yard sale, I think we sold a bunch of stuff, and we also made $52. It was a tiny bit disappointing after investing $13 into an ad in the paper and prepping all that junk for days and sitting in the stupid hot driveway at 6:30a.m. Kyle is hosting "Driveway Sale Part Deux" this weekend sometime, and he was able to sell more stuff on craigslist after the fact, so there's something. Honestly, I'm not holding out a lot of hope for "Please Buy My Stuff 2.0" this weekend. Especially after last Sunday's tepid response to "Old Stuff We Don't Use, v. 1.5" (wherein Kyle sat out with the stuff another day, but didn't like, tell anyone he was going to do that, and just really hoped that the giant neon signs all over the neighborhood would draw folks in. They did not.) I'm just shocked all the baby stuff didn't sell. There were FOUR strollers and like, three tons of awesomely cute (and in some cases NEVER WORN) girl clothes.

Fig. 1: Approximately 1/8 of the baby clothes that were presented for sale last weekend

Fig 2: More clothes which sadly remained betagged during their tenure in the wardrobe

Pirates Have Feelings Too, Express Them Via Finger Paints on Sundays:

Iris caught me folding laundry the other day (don't tell Kyle I did that willingly - he'll try to make me do it all the time), and in it was an old bandanna. As soon as I picked it up I heard, "It's a pirate hat, Mommy! A PIRATE HAT, MOMMEEEEEEEE." So Iris wore the pirate hat and asked to paint a little bit. We put the old Dad shirt on and tied up the pirate hat just so, and when I asked Iris if she wanted me to get her a snack or anything to munch on while she expressed her big deep pirate feelings, she said, "ARR." I'm so not joking. Ask her sometime.

Fig 3: Iris, mid-pirate joke, "So I sez to the blue whale, CHEER UP!" Har.

Fig 4: Quoth the shirt, "My Sultry Sunday Shirt (Pants Optional)"

Things Best Avoided at Work

Belly shots, yo. Do not try to take belly shots at work. Even if you have no full-length mirrors at home, and heaps of messy crap everywhere that will show up in any photo you take anyway, do NOT try to take belly shots at work! Especially if you forget to turn off the flash, and it's anywhere near lunchtime, and crazy ol' HPD is roaming the halls. Especially not then.

Fig 5: Just learned today that I'm "about to pop," the baby has "dropped," I am "carrying low" and also "look WAY more pregnant" than I am. A-haaaaa-wesome.

A Month In The Life

I know it's been a month and I'm total fail at blogging, but I'm not about to start getting better today. I have a quick break at work which I will use to post some stuff super quick like, but for a real update you'll have to wait till I screw my brain on a little tighter than it is now.

The Great Lone Range, or Why My Butt Loves The Couch Way More Than Me

So Iris and Kyle did go out of town, and lo, there was much lazing and repose. On my part, that is. Kyle and Iris did whatever they did, and it was all a mystery that I don't care to solve. I decided that I was so excited for their departure was going to miss them so much that I simply had to snap a photo right before they got on the road. Don't they look joyous? So precious in their stylishly coordinating travel costumes, those Kelleys....


Anyway, I actually did have to work the first two days they were gone, so it's a good thing Grammy took pity on me and babysat Iris for the weekend. I got all my work done and sat on the aforementioned sofa, and I do believe that was the last time FBK was small enough to avoid directly stimulating my sciatic nerve. If you're not familiar with your sciatic nerve and what it can do, do not bother trying to learn. That would be like researching what, exaaaactly jellyfish stings are like.

I was all set to blog about stuff that weekend, in fact, but then Babs' charger broke (Barbara Jean - the Apple laptop), and I had to rush order a new one. Then I was going to meet Grammy and Papa in Concordia to pick up Iris, and noticed the huge bolt/nut/washer combo sticking out of my driver's side tire. I did not drive to Concordia that day. G & P did bring Iris back home though, which is nice, since I kind of like my kid and everything. And - bonus - they fixed my tire too!

MOMMY, TakemypictureCHEEEEEEEZE!

Iris really likes having her picture taken now. She actually directs photo shoots starring her. It's... kinda weird in an endearing little way. I think it might be the "CHEESE" face that gets me the most. I mean, it reminds me of one of those poor, harried stage children whose mothers bleach their teeth and put them on toddler diets. I seriously have no idea where she learned that. I barely even wash my own hair, so I think I can safely opt out of that little blame cycle. Fortunately these shots look relatively natural. Here is a small sampling of a recent photo shoot:




Irisey With The Fringe On Top

The hair in the face was about to kill me. So, as much as I hate bangs, hated having them growing up and hate that they make children look creepily precocious, it had to be done. I stood her up on the toilet lid last night and chopped those suckers off. They are crooked and jaggedy, but at least she dosen't look like one of those Afghan dogs with the hair and the not-seeing and whatnot anymore.

Oooo, Let's Dance, Awight?
...quoth Iris when she first heard this song, and then of course again every time after. This is the time when I shamefully admit that my kid likes dance music. Like, that one might find in a dance club. For dancing. I um... will be sitting on my couch with my unwashed hair. Someone who likes glow sticks and sequins can be responsible for endoctrinating Iris into the land of technopop:

(Sorry - would have embedded the actual video but Yeasayer said "no," if you can believe it.)

Miscellany - Ask Me Later

We bought a house! We did not manage to sell one though.

The dog died and I didn't even cry. Only part of that statement is true.

I like yard sales and I especially love preparing to host one! That entire statement is false, which makes the likelihood of its occurrence no less probable.

Cats only barf where bare feet go, and children only pee on the floor when you're late for something - discuss.

I'm way pregnant. Whoa.