Happy Birthday

You've been extra good this year, so we thought we'd give you the flu for your birthday. Be sure to share it with your family too, no one ought to be without. Plus, it fosters mother/daughter bonding when you both feel like a professional football team danced a complicated jig on your back.

We do have tylenol, so all hope is not lost. And of course, we have this nifty photo booth application to keep ourselves busy, so that's at least fun for the kiddo. She spent lots of time waving to herself this morning. Now she's waving at the table lamp/trying to get her foot in my ear. It's awesome.

Neither one of us has a fever at the moment, but Iris has almost completely lost her voice and has a nice raspy cough to go with it. If she feels at all like I do, then it is most assuredly really crappy, and I have no intention of taking her to school in such a state, even if she is fever free for now.

We haven't gotten out of bed yet, but we're thinking really hard about it. There is probably breakfast and tea and such somewhere beyond this room. I wish the dogs had opposable thumbs... how I would love to train them to make me some tea. It would be well worth it, especially on days like this. Iris has been chugging water like it's going out of style and recently discovered her love of pizza, so maybe we can use that to our advantage and circumvent the fasting that happened in the last round of illness. Right. The baby needs breakfast. Totally getting out of bed now. Pizza is a completely acceptable breakfast food. Don't judge.

The Freakness

I would have called it "The Sickness," but I didn't want to worry anyone. Iris had some bug. It mainly consisted of a 102.5 fever on and off for like four days. No barfy, no hacky, just high fever and sadness. We alternated the OTC meds the best we could and wiped her down with damp cloths. She licked them. She maintained her usual good spirits till the final leg of The Freakness, when there was no fever, yet much crying. She'd eschewed food as a general principle and fell back entirely on formula & breast milk. So much for weaning, eh?

I think the lack of food + extra fortified fluids led to the gassiness issue of 2010 that we're facing now. Plus, sick or no, her little astute mind noticed that we've been coddling her for the last week or so, which means we're always capable of said behavior. Not an issue when one is sick and miserable, but when the sickness abates and suddenly extra special treatment reverts back to business as usual, well... Iris took issue with the situation.

She was tired. It was 7:30. I said, "Let's go to bed. Say night night to Dad!" We had our family hug and everyone kissed Iris' face, and we all said "I Love You! Night, night," just like we do every night. Then I took Iris upstairs, hugged her a little more for good measure, and laid her down in her bed like I always do at bed time. She immediately started flailing. She thrashed and kicked and yelled and made every sound she could think of to convince me that this, right here, was the worst idea ever.

She has always hated sleep. Right. We know this. But today marked the first instance of an Honest-To-God-Temper-Tantrum. I did everything I could to prevent her from hurting herself. Even picking her up again only angered her more, because she was so anti-touch in that moment.

I flipped her onto her stomach and patted her back once, and immediately she was silent. I patted her back for another few minutes, and she was completely out. Shut down in under five minutes.

It is now 11:20. She hasn't budged since. Can we claim progress now? Can we call this sleep? I don't really even want to do the happy dance like I won or something. I just want her to sleep, and not wake up sad. I think we're close.

Official Birthday Invite: Do It.

To: You Guys
From: The Whiz
Where: Our house. Don't know how to get there? Means we probably don't know you, but e-mail me just in case and we'll make sure you're a stranger before I completely blow you off. :)

When: Saturday, February 27th, 2:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. (just so you know, Iris will be near to crashing by the end of that time, so you might want to peace out of there before the big ugly sleepy crying begins. We won't kick you out necessarily, but it isn't going to be pretty. You were warned.)

I sent out a Facebook invitation, but I know you aren't all on FB, and I thought I'd go ahead and throw something up here too just in case I missed anyone. This isn't really going to be a huge shindig (at least I don't think it is - do let me know if you plan to attend though. I hear these things sometimes require a keg, and I wouldn't want to disappoint). I'm joking! (mostly!) Anyway, I'll probably make some snacks and a cake. As always, your thoughtfulness is appreciated in anything you choose to do, but please know that presents are not necessary at ALL, and also I will really totally cry myself to sleep forever if one more singing monstrosity of plastic baby crap shows up at my house.

(I have had a song stuck in my head that's been there for WEEKS. Allow me to regale you with a small sampling of the lyrics: "Me and my friend, (at this point, all music stops, followed by a lengthy pause, after which a stiff voice says "Iris," aaaaand, resume music) "like to do everything together! We jump up and down! Jump! Jump! Jump! We wag our tails! Wiggle! Waggle! Waggle!" That fine specimen comes from a small purple thing that happens to know Iris' name, favorite animal, favorite food and favorite color. I think the purple thing is a spy, but I'm not sure. Do not discuss sensitive issues near the purple thing. Do not get the purple thing wet, and for the love of God, do not look directly at the purple thing. Save yourselves.)

Moral of the story: Come to the party. It will be awesome. Bring yourselves and your children and your party pants. Avoid the purple thing.

Thanks guys! See you at the party!

P.S. Iris' shirt says "When I grow up, I want to be an evil genius." Thank you, Uncle Craig.

Unbunch Thyself

Alright everbody, get your panties out of that twisty little bunch that seems to be forming due to lack of baby photos. I'm working on it. Or will be, once I'm not actually AT work. And you know, am also near the baby. And the camera has batteries. Okay, that's a lot of variables that have to line up, eh? Listen, I hear the whinging of the masses; on it.

I would like to state for the record that Kyle picks up Iris from school every day, spending all sorts of cheery quality time with her before she inevitably falls asleep a couple of minutes before I arrive. And he knows how to operate the camera. And he really likes it when you call his phone, repeatedly demanding that he photograph the baby for you. No really! The man loves to be nagged. Seriously. Give it a go. LOVES it.

(aside to Kyle: BWAHhahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!)