11.18.2011

Waterloo: Wherein Strangely I Am The Pint-Sized Loser

Okay, it's a pity party. Don your pointy tassled hats and join me, why don't you? I'm not looking for accolades here, I just really need to express how much of a bad person parenting a toddler makes me feel. What other situations exist in which you are constantly mocked, belittled, and defied by someone who lives in your house and claims to love you??? Two/three-year-olds must be the emotional-abuser-boyfriends of young families everywhere. I mean, the sheer manipulation that this child is capable of is indescribable. If anyone I knew was experiencing this kind of behavior from anyone in their life, I would tell them to cut all ties with the (colorful expletive here) and never speak to them again. That is, anyone except for their kids. Is there any other situation in which you actually cannot escape the madness? I fail to see it, if there is one.

I know I'm not experiencing anything that hasn't happened to millions of people before me. I just cannot get over that I'm so bent out of shape right now that I'm referring to my children as something that happened to me. Who does that?!?! Well, I guess I do. I am six weeks postpartum. I am tired and I'm covered in dubious milk-esque substances (both source and regurgitated). I am lumpy and haggard and I never have time to eat, so WHY DO I STILL HAVE ALL THIS EXTRA SKIN? I live with someone who actively seeks to piss off everyone near her, then when they seem like they're just about to snap, cackles in their face with maniacal glee.

I feel like I am so angry (so, so, so angry) all of the time. What is this doing to her? What kind of person is she going to become if all she knows is that it's fun to piss people off then laugh at them? What kind of person will she become as a result of living with two adults who are still so angry from her last horrible outburst that they can't even be happy with her when she is good?

I have asked several people whom I respect both as people and as loving parents to tell me what to do. The answer seems to be that we are to simply live through it. There is no solution. Party on.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry, darlin'. She will learn to refine her skill so it won't be so glaringly evident (or irritating), but that takes time. Hopefully, she will use her powers for good, not evil. xxoo Pattyskyp

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  2. Ship her to Grandma K's until she is 21!! She is a master of manipulation and if I tell you she does not do that here would you believe me?
    Try to get some much needed rest. Someday you will not remember the bad only the good. Love, Grandma K.

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